its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
