I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
