What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
