Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
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Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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