"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
