did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
