mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
