My boss' voice literally gives me gas
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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