just tell him i said nine months
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
