I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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