Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
