PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My bed smells like the plague
FUCK WHALES
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