I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
vagina is talking i cant
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
