Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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