I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
