I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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