can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
