The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
