sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Randomize
