Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to stick my p in your. b.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I will be naked everywhere
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
