She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
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