Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
