i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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