I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.