chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.