my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
how does that bad decision feel?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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