Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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