If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize