What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
