Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
