I feel like abortions should bother me more
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
