one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize