I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
