i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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