are you still at the devil's house?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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