can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm having to shit out rocks
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
