at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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