how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
