I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
