so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
