Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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