Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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