My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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