Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
