somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
