remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
