he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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