i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My life is pants optional.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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