Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
