I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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