hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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