Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
