Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
