she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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