Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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