I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
