I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You pole danced in your parka.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
