are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You smell like stripper and shame
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
