She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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