The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
