I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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