We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
