piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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